Self-Love is seeing yourself for who you really are ...
Now feels like the right time to reach out to you in a very honest and soulful way. Here's a potent, energy read just for you, that I really feel will reasonate. Grab a cuppa, get cozy and feel all the ‘feels’ with this vulnerable sharing …
Do you ever feel like throwing your hands up in the air and yelling - ‘Can’t you just give me a friggen-break universe? When is the path going to get easier or clearer?’ Maybe you’re over the healing process, wondering when enough healing is enough healing (When will it end!?!)
This is a time of shadow work, a season of heart vulnerability, questioning ourselves and challenging our worthiness. It’s a time of really seeing who we are … and that’s the good, the bad and the ugly. Yip, I know – it’s hard, but really it is here to help you. Keep reading and I’ll shed light on this for you …
You’re probably exhausted in your soul right now, so stop pushing yourself to your limit. With kindness and non-judgement - have a look at your own stuff, peak below the covers and have the courage to see what is in there. See all aspects of who you are. There is no solving this. What’s really required is being soft, kind, and graceful with yourself and others. Be gentle. This is about being brave. This is the truth of self-love.
You’re not the only one going through this, even though you may feel really disheartened, alone and tired. Regardless of how polished and happy the people on your Instagram feed may look, chances are that they are actually going through their own shit right now too. This is the storm, before the calm and trust me, you need to go through it to get to the other side.
It’s always darkest before the dawn.
There’s one important thing that I want to bring up about your shadow work, it’s not just about feeling your heart, it’s about seeing the parts of you that you may be ashamed or scared to see. The parts of you that are not always the victim, but possibly the perpetrator (Ouch!) Are you brave enough to see the aspects of yourself that you keep hidden? Maybe you haven’t even admitted to yourself that they are there? What I’ve discovered in the last month with my clients, mentees, and my own personal journey, is (gulp) the amount of hate, shame and guilt held within the soul (yes, sometimes the mind. But the soul can also hold this).
Now, I don’t know about you, but I hate the word, hate. Whenever my kids use the word, I immediately jump on it and tell them not to use it because the vibe is so low. I am much more likely to pull them up on this, than to pull them up on saying some swear words. Even so, my acceptance of ‘hate’ in any form has been zero tolerance up until recently. Now, I see the word ‘hate’ with far more compassion.
Recently, during a personal healing journey, I discovered within myself a hatred so intense that I was afraid to let it out because it had so much charge. I had no idea that it was there. How long had it been there? This aspect of me, as shameful as I could judge it – and did judge it, was woven into my soul. It felt awful. I felt so dishonest and disingenuous. Here I am preaching about love on the daily to my friends, family, clients, and mentees, yet I found this part of my soul that is full of rage and hate. As the stirrings of this emotion began to expand, my grandmother in spirit held my hand as I fought hard against the rage within me. She gently guided me to look at the hate and the rage, really look at it, and see what it truly was … and what was there, beyond the hate, beyond the judgement was pain. So raw, so unseen and so lonely. My role in that moment, was to see it - rather than add hate to the hate, rage to rage, or fear to fear, to see it and give it love. Being totally real with you, it was probably one of the hardest healing journeys of my life. I battled that rage and hate for what felt like a really long time, before I was able to see it for what it was.
Now I know, that for some of you, there is hate, rage, anger, guilt and shame so deep within that you are terrified of witnessing it within yourself. Unconsciously, or consciously you don’t feel worthy of love because of it. It effects your boundaries, possibly eliciting the fawn (trauma) response within you. You don’t let people see the real you in case they see it. You don’t see the real you because you’re afraid not just of your pain, but of aspects of who you may be. The aspects of you that you’re afraid of, well – it’s okay. You don’t need to run from yourself anymore. You can see these parts with compassion, transforming and alchemizing them through love, grace, compassion and self-forgiveness. You can be understanding, real and honest with yourself. Now, I’m not saying it’s easy – but I am saying, you can. What I do know, is that if you refuse these parts of yourself, you will block your own soul. Keeping you more of mind. Keeping you in the hustle, in the anxiety and in detachment. Possibly sabotaging love and relationships. Don’t you deserve better?
You got the love.
If you have anger, rage, hate, guilt or shame within you – I invite you to reach out. The hate, the anger, the shame, the guilt - it's just an emotion, it's just a feeling. It does not get to define you unless you allow it. Unless you see it though, it will unconsciously effect your behaviour. Behind this will be your pain, your sadness and a need for healing and love. If you reach out to me, I wont judge you. Ever. I’ve been there too.
Thanks for keeping it real with me!
Lotsa Love,
Nat x
Ps -shout out to Florence and the machine for the random quotes/lyrics woven within this blog.